"THERE'S SOMETHING OUT THERE"
You can only go halfway into the darkest forest; then you are coming out the other side.
~ Chinese proverb ~
"Oh, come on, Chet."
"Gage, give it a rest will ya? How many times do I have to say no?"
"But...."
"No 'buts,' Gage. I'm not goin'. Here, read my lips. I'M… NOT… GOING."
"Well, all right then. Just don't say I never asked."
"Gage, trust me. I won't say a word. I promise."
Chet almost got the fork full of potato salad all the way to his mouth.
"You know you'll be sorry though. Me 'n Roy'll have a great time and you'll be wishin' you'd have come along. But that's okay. It's okay. You had your chance, Chet. Don't worry about it. I'm not gonna ask you again."
"Good, 'cause I'm not goin'."
Hank Stanley sighed and lifted his eyes upward. Just one meal. Just one.... Was that so much to ask?
"Chet...."
"Aw, Cap… would you tell Gage to quit buggin' me?"
"John. Quit bugging Chet."
"Yessir."
Oh, it couldn't be that easy, could it? One, two, three....
"But, Chet...."
Kelly threw his fork down on the table. It bounced once and clattered to the floor as bits of potato salad landed on his pant legs. He glared at Johnny. The guy just didn't know when to quit.
Roy pushed his plate away and leaned back in his chair with an amused smile on his face. It wasn't often that the shoe was on the other foot in a Gage/Kelly exchange, and it was funny to watch Johnny get under Chet's skin for a change.
Johnny took another bite of his sandwich and looked at Mike. "How come I can never tell if it's tuna salad or chicken salad?" He chewed a little longer. "Tuna, right?"
"Nope. Chicken." Mike had just the slightest trace of a smile in his eyes. Chet was right. Johnny made it almost too easy.
"Chicken, huh? Still think it tastes like tuna. Anyway, Chet.... Now don't go gettin' all excited. Here, you dropped your fork. I just wanna know what you've got planned on your days off that could be more fun… and more relaxing… than going fishing with us? Pass the potato salad, would you, Marco? You got a hot date or somethin'? Hey thanks, Marco. Because if you had a date, I could understand.... Mike, are you sure this isn't tuna? Of course, what I couldn't understand though is… who would wanna go out on a date with you.... But that's beside the point. The point is...."
Chet's hands flew up in frustrated surrender. "All right! I'll tell you why I don't want to go. Going fishing with you two is NOT fun or relaxing. It's worse than being at work. Gage, no matter where you go, you guys always seem to wind up spending more time rescuing people than you do fishing. The last time I went with you, we didn't even catch any fish… you know, the point of a fishing trip, John."
"What are you talkin' about? We had a great time, didn't we Roy?" Johnny thought Roy could jump in anytime now, instead of sitting there with that silly smile on his face.
"Yeah," Roy answered, "we had a great time…"
"See," Johnny began, only to be interrupted.
"... even though we didn't catch any fish, and we had nothing but smoke for campfires every night, and then there was that lady and her son that had been in the accident on the highway in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, I'd say we had a great time."
Johnny narrowed his eyes and gave Roy a look that let him know he could go back to sitting and smiling for all the help he was being.
"And what about when you two went to Santa Rosa County last summer?" Marco pitched in, "You said you spent more time rescuing those climbers off the cliff, and getting that man out of the lake when his boat exploded, and talking to the Sheriff about an EMT program than you did fishing."
"Well, we couldn't exactly say 'sorry, we can't help because we came here to fish' now could we?" Johnny frowned slightly at Marco, then brightened. "Besides, we did end up catching quite a few fish after Blaine showed us a few tricks. And, we brought back some real beauties.... I bet Cap remembers that… don't ya, Cap?"
Stanley visibly shuddered just thinking about the dead fish wrapped in newspaper that John had practically stuck under his nose.
"But the thing is," Chet interjected, bringing the subject back to the upcoming trip, "you still spent more time working than you did fishing. And that's why I'm not going. It'll be more relaxing just sittin' around my apartment for four days watching scary movies on television."
"Well, none of that's gonna happen this time," Johnny insisted, giving Chet a dirty look. "I'm making sure of it."
"And how are you going to manage that, John?" Captain Stanley inquired.
"You see," he explained, warming up to the subject, "we're going up to this place a friend of mine told me about -- it's just a little way from Mammoth Lakes -- he said you've got the fish all to yourself this time of year because it's still kinda cold, and the lake is so hard to get to, hardly anyone ever goes there until summer. You've gotta park and hike in a little over a mile just to get to the campground. I figure we could take all our stuff with us in two trips, easy -- can't we Roy?"
Roy was grumbling internally again at the thought of carrying fishing and camping gear all that way -- twice going in and twice coming out. As usual, Johnny had managed to talk him into it despite his reservations. Even though the idea of getting away from the possibility of rescuing people while they were supposed to be vacationing appealed to him, the idea of being so isolated still bothered him. Johnny had kept after him until he finally gave in. They were leaving when the shift ended in the morning, and he knew there was no chance Johnny was going to agree to a change of plans at this late date.
"Yeah, well, that all sounds like a lot of work to me," Kelly concluded, "and that's exactly why I'm not going. If you two want to spend hours and hours driving and then hauling your gear around just to spend a few days alone fishing, then you go right ahead. Me.... I'm stayin' home where it's warm and spending some time just getting to know Marsha."
Chet smiled to himself. The master had just turned the tables. After all these years, Gage still had so much to learn about mind games. He took the bait -- hook, line and sinker as they say.
"Marsha? Who's Marsha?" Johnny asked, then looked at Chet wide-eyed. "You don't mean that new clerk in personnel at headquarters, do you? That Marsha? You? You got a date with her? The one with the red hair and the really big...."
The tones sounded and six chairs scraped back in unison, the conversation instantly forgotten.
* * * * * * * *
It had been difficult to get through the morning freeway rush-hour traffic, but once they had taken the turnoff toward Lancaster, it had been smooth sailing. Roy had offered to drive first and got no argument from Johnny. That was his first clue that something still wasn't right.
Starting with the lunchtime run yesterday, their shift had been long and hard, and hadn't let up until they literally fell into their bunks at two AM. By three, Johnny had moved to the couch in the day room so his coughing wouldn't keep the rest of the crew awake.
When his growling stomach began to remind him that they'd left this morning without eating, Roy glanced over at Johnny, intending to ask if he wanted to stop for a late breakfast in the next town. Johnny was leaning against the door, his head resting in his hand, napping quietly for the moment. That -- and the fact he hadn't said more than two words in two hours -- gave Roy reason to worry.
At the end of their shift, he had suggested they call off the trip, but Johnny argued that he was simply tired from the rough shift and lack of sleep, and that he'd feel a lot better after a few hours in the fresh mountain air at the lake. Roy noted that he was coughing less frequently than he had been earlier, and his color looked better -- then decided that Johnny was probably right -- he just needed some rest and fresh air to recover from the incident at the fire last night....
* * * * * * * *
Their search of the second floor of the two-story apartment building was almost complete. As Roy entered the last apartment at the end of the main hallway, he almost tripped over a person lying on the floor just inside the door.
He peered through the haze to see a figure pass by the open doorway, and shouted to him. "Johnny! I need your help in here!"
When he didn't come back right away, Roy stepped into the hallway and shouted for him again. Johnny answered back from the apartment across the hall when he heard Roy's muffled call and came to help. They managed to get the unconscious woman over Roy's shoulder, then moved quickly along the wall toward the stairs with Johnny leading the way, shining his flashlight down the dark, smoke-filled hallway.
About halfway down the hall, Johnny abruptly stopped to listen… thinking he heard someone or something in the apartment to his left. The door to apartment 2G was slightly ajar. Thick smoke curled around the door, but there were no flames visible from where he stood.
He jerked on Roy's sleeve to get his attention, then jabbed a finger toward the door. "Roy -- I thought I heard something in there. I'm gonna check it out."
Roy looked at the door and shook his head. "I already checked that apartment, Johnny -- there's my mark on the door -- there wasn't anybody in there. Come on, let's go.... We don't have much time."
"I'm just gonna take a quick look. Just to make sure. You go on ahead.... Go on… I'll be right behind you." Johnny took a step toward the door, but Roy held him back.
Roy stared at the open door, then nodded. "All right...." He hesitated for a second longer, certain he'd checked and found no one in that apartment, but also certain he'd closed the door tightly on his way out. "Chet and Marco are at the end of the hallway… I'll let 'em know where you are.... In and out in a hurry, Johnny. I'll see you outside."
As he started for the stairway again, Roy couldn't shake the feeling that came over him. He thought about waiting, but the injured woman moaned, reminding Roy of his first priority. He made sure Chet and Marco knew exactly where Johnny was.
Johnny cautiously pushed the door open wider with his gloved fingertips and stepped inside. The smoke was thicker than it had been just seconds ago. Blacker. He couldn't see. Something felt wrong about this room. Really wrong. It was too still. In the middle of a fire, he felt... cold. Wishing he hadn't given Roy the flashlight, he took a few blind steps. Something brushed against his leg. The sudden chill that ran down his spine almost made his heart stop. A voice inside his head urged him to get out.
Now.
It didn't have to tell him twice. He was almost to the doorway when he heard it again. Faint. Someone calling. Calling him. He stood there, virtually paralyzed. The voice in the distance summoned him to come back. The voice inside his head screamed at him to keep going. His heart hammered in his chest. He couldn't breathe. Suffocating. The air in his tank was gone. He tore off his helmet and pulled his mask down, gasping for air. Smoke burned his throat. Stung his eyes. He raised his hands to cover them. He could feel the cold sweat on his palms underneath his gloves.
His training told him he had to go back. There was someone in there. His sixth sense told him to run. He had to make a decision. Quickly. Always willing to be first in, he had never hesitated… had never questioned himself. He had never left a victim… had never bailed on a rescue.
Johnny backed out of the room.
A section of the roof collapsed. Apartment 2G disappeared.
* * * * * * * *
Roy noticed the billboard with the ad for a Denny's up ahead and looked at Johnny again. He was awake and looking back at him with a grin on his face.
"Are we there yet, Dad?"
Roy laughed out loud. "No, not yet."
"Are we gonna be there soon?"
"No, son, and if you ask me again, I'll make you get out and walk the rest of the way."
"Then can I drive?"
"No, I don't think so."
"But you always get to drive."
"That's because I'm older than you are. When you get to be my age, you can drive too."
"Man, I'll never be your age even when I'm old. Besides it's my truck...."
"Yeah, but I've got the keys."
A brief bout of coughing forced Johnny to prematurely concede the debate. He sat up straight and stretched. "I'm hungry. You feel like finding some place to eat soon? Then I'll drive for a while."
"Yeah… we'll stop in this next town. You sure you're up to driving?" Roy asked more seriously this time. Johnny's voice was still strained, and Roy suspected his sore throat was bothering him more than he was willing to admit.
"Roy, I told you. I'm okay. Now, stop worrying and find someplace to eat before I die of...." The rest of his words were choked off by a harsh, dry cough that came from deep in his lungs.
By the time Roy pulled into the restaurant parking lot, the coughing had stopped, but Johnny couldn't conceal the fact that it made his chest and throat hurt worse.
Roy tried to talk him out of it again. "Johnny, maybe taking this trip right now isn't such a good idea. It's not too late to turn back. We can always go another time."
Johnny shook his head. "You know what your problem is Roy? You worry too much. You need to learn to relax. I keep tellin' you as soon as we get up to the lake, I'll be fine. Now, let's go get some breakfast so we can get going again. We need to have camp set up before it gets dark."
In spite of his claim of hunger, Johnny just pushed his food around his plate and barely ate anything. That was Roy's second clue that Johnny wasn't being totally honest about how he felt. He downed several large glasses of ice water in between cups of coffee, then when they were done, startled Roy by grabbing the check and offering to pay. That was Roy's third -- and biggest -- clue that things were definitely not normal.
Making one more quick stop along the way to fill up the gas tank, they bought some sodas and a bag of cookies to tide them over until they were able to fix dinner. Johnny continued to be unusually subdued. Roy refrained from conversation too, guessing that the less Johnny talked, the less likely he was to aggravate his throat and start coughing again.
Roy settled back and listened to the music and watched the scenery go by. There had been other times when Johnny lost his voice, and it never stopped him from trying to talk before. He knew there was something more than a sore throat and a cough behind Johnny's silence. He could see it in his eyes. As Roy stared out the window, images from last night filled his mind. Something had happened inside that apartment. Johnny had said he was scared. In the years they'd worked together, both had admitted to being scared at times. It was only natural. But it never got it the way of doing their job. Their training, their experience, and their deep trust in the other being there for them always got them through it. But whatever had happened to Johnny last night was different. Chet had noticed it too. Something more was going on.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a frown cross Johnny's face, and Roy wondered if he was ever going to talk about it....
* * * * * * * *
Johnny stood with his back against the wall, unable to move, barely able to breathe. He knew it wasn't over yet. He was meant to be in the apartment. It wasn't going to let him go.
Something gripped his shoulder.
"Johnny, are you all right?!" Chet quickly looked up at the sagging ceiling above their heads, then back at Johnny. Getting no response, Chet signaled to Marco to give him a hand. They needed to get out before the rest of the roof caved in.
Neither Chet nor Marco could tell if Johnny was injured, but there wasn't time to think twice about it. They literally pried him away from the hallway wall and dragged him toward the stairs. They just started down when they heard the wooden beams above the ceiling begin to crack, then felt the jolt. Chunks of plaster pelted them as they raced down two and three steps at a time. The sound of the walls disintegrating under the weight of the roof roared in their ears and trailed them down the stairwell.
Johnny stumbled in the darkness and started to fall. Hands reached out to him. Cold hands. Panic rocked him to his core. Then Chet and Marco were beside him again, helping him stay on his feet. Shouting at him to hurry. Time was running out. The doorway to safety was about to close.
Sheer adrenaline carried them the rest of the way out of the building. They didn't have to look behind them to know the rest of the second floor was gone.
Roy hurriedly made his way over to them as soon as they came through the door. "Chet, Marco… you guys okay?" Both were badly shaken by the close call, but nodded to Roy as they removed their helmets and air masks and brushed off their coats.
Johnny stood silently some distance away, still staring in the direction of what used to be Apartment 2G. His hair was full of dust and bits of plaster, his face darkened with soot.
"Roy," Chet said shakily as he composed himself, "you'd better take a look at John right away. When we got to him, he wasn't wearing his helmet, and his air mask was off. He didn't look like he'd been hurt… but… I don't know…. He seemed kinda dazed." Chet looked at Marco for confirmation. "We practically had to force him to come with us. I tell you, if he had waited two more seconds to come out of that apartment… all I can say is he wouldn't be standing here right now. Maybe none of us would be."
Roy took a step toward Johnny. "You're both sure you're all right? Squad 45's right over there if you want them to check you out… they're taking care of the woman I brought out… she's doing okay, but we'll be transporting her to Rampart as soon as we make sure you three are all right."
"I think we're okay." Marco said, "You'd better go see about Johnny. We'll find the Cap and fill him in and see what he wants us to do."
As he watched them walk off toward the engine, Roy could hear Johnny begin to gag and cough. He caught him just as he doubled over and his knees began to buckle, then helped him sit down on the grass, leaning him against a tree for support. Roy grabbed the oxygen off the squad and put it down next to him. Johnny had stopped coughing, but was struggling to breathe.
"Johnny?" Roy touched his shoulder -- he just looked up and stared past him without saying a word. "Johnny, I want you to hold the oxygen mask over your face for me… no, you hold it… that's it… and I'll get your air tank off and then I'll check you out. Okay? Keep the mask on.... just breathe. Are you hurt anywhere? Johnny, are you listening to me?"
Johnny's eyes shifted slowly to Roy's face, but the blank look told Roy he wasn't comprehending what he was saying. Roy loosened the straps and removed his air tank and set it aside, then knelt down and carefully took off his turnout coat as well, talking to him the whole time. Concerned by Johnny's lethargic physical and verbal responses, Roy pulled out his penlight to check Johnny's pupils. Even though Roy told him what he was going to do, Johnny was startled by the light. He pushed it away and blinked his eyes. The oxygen mask fell on the grass.
"Don't." he protested weakly. "I'm… I'm okay now."
Roy wasn't about to be deterred by his protests. "Johnny, just let me check a few things and make sure." He gently pushed him back to lean against the tree again.
Roy wrapped the BP cuff around his arm, and quietly started asking questions. "Johnny, Chet said when they got to you, your helmet was gone and your air mask was off… what happened?"
"Wasn't workin'… couldn't breathe… had to take it off. Roy… Roy, there was someone… in there… I left someone in there. Got scared… and left 'em there while I got out." Johnny was struggling to breathe again, and Roy re-affixed the oxygen mask.
"Johnny… take it easy. There wasn't anyone in there," Roy assured him. "The family that lived in that apartment all got out okay. I talked to them a few minutes ago -- they're standing right over there."
"No… heard someone… felt somethin'.... Roy… I got out.... I left someone.... I was too… I couldn't go back."
"Listen to me, Johnny. There was no one in there. The little girl was crying because they had to leave her cat behind. Johnny, it was just a cat. Do you understand? You didn't leave anyone.... Everyone's been accounted for. No one got hurt." Roy saw relief flood his partner's eyes. He also saw something else there, but wasn't sure what it was.
Roy looked back at what was left of the still smoldering building. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head in amazement, wondering just how many more times his partner could manage to defy the odds. "It was just a cat," he whispered softly into the night air.
After letting Johnny rest a few minutes, Roy helped him get up and walked him over to the ambulance. He talked to the others, and it was agreed that Roy would accompany the woman and Johnny in the ambulance, while 45s paramedics continued to treat minor injuries at the scene. The non-Code R ride to Rampart was quiet and uneventful.
The new doctor on duty asked Roy to leave the treatment room. Knowing Johnny wasn't seriously injured and too tired to argue anyway, he wandered down the hall to wait in the doctor's lounge while Johnny got checked out. It was twelve-thirty. He sat down on the couch and laid his head back and was instantly asleep.
The next thing he knew, Chet was standing over him, shaking his shoulder.
"Sorry, Roy. Cap sent me in the squad to pick you up. How's Johnny doing?"
Roy rubbed his eyes and sat forward. "Um… I don't know. I guess I fell asleep. What time is it?"
Chet looked at his watch. "One-thirty." They could each see their own exhaustion reflected in the others' face.
Chet scratched his cheek. He had something on his mind. "Say, Roy.... Did you ask Johnny why he wasn't wearing his air mask in there?"
"He told me it wasn't working. Said he couldn't breathe and had to take it off. Why?"
"Well, I picked it up off the ground to put it in the squad after you left. I checked it to see if it was malfunctioning or out of air, thinking maybe that's why Johnny had it off. But.... It was working just fine. He had over five minutes left."
Roy had no explanation to offer. He couldn't think of any other reason Johnny would have taken it off. He was too tired to give it any more thought tonight.
Roy stood up slowly, feeling his knees creak, and groaned a little. "You know, Chet… I'm beginning to think I'm gettin' too old to do this much longer."
"Yeah.... Yeah, I know what you mean," he agreed. "Come on, let's go see if we can find out how Johnny's doing, then we gotta get back to the station before Cap comes looking for us."
Exiting the room, they spotted Johnny leaning against the counter at the nurse's station. He had washed the soot from his face and now looked drawn and pale, and deep in thought. He looked up when he heard them coming. As he ran his hand over his face in a tired gesture, they could see his eyes were still red and watery from the smoke.
"What are you doing out here?" Roy asked.
"Waitin' for you two to give me a ride back to the station," Johnny answered, his voice a hoarse whisper.
"They're letting you go?" Roy looked at him in surprise -- he had expected them to keep Johnny the rest of the night. He had swallowed a lot of smoke, and looked and sounded as though he needed to stay.
"Well, why not? I told 'em I was feeling okay. The Doc said I could go back to work. We've only got a few hours left until the shift is over anyway."
Roy looked apprehensive, but Johnny cut him off before he could open his mouth.
"Don't say it, Roy. I'm fine. My headache is almost gone and I'll probably just have a sore throat and cough for a little while. It's no big deal... let's just go. I don't know about you, but I could use a few hours sleep before we take off in the morning."
"I was only going to ask if you were ready to go then," Roy answered with a yawn.
Johnny just looked at him. "Right."
Chet cleared his throat, reminding them he was there, too. "Well, if you're through now, how about we just go? At least you two have had an hour to get some rest, while I've been out there helping get things cleaned up. I tell you... you guys have it made sometimes. Layin' around a nice comfortable hospital while we're out there working our butts off. Must be nice."
Roy just smiled and shook his head as he started toward the exit. He laughed to himself when he heard them at it again.
"Chet.... We could stop by your place, and you could throw a few things together..."
"Gage, I swear, I'm gonna take my sweaty socks off and stuff them both in your mouth if you say one more word about it...."
* * * * * * * *
Shortly after passing through Bishop, the highway began the steady upward climb into the mountains. The scenery changed as rapidly as the elevation. The air was crisp and laced with the fragrant scent of pine. The snowfall had been relatively light during the winter months, and except on the mountain tops, had disappeared already. The sun was shining, but the late springtime temperatures were cool during the day, and near-freezing at night.
They arrived in the small city of Mammoth Lakes just before three in the afternoon. A busy tourist town all year around, the streets bustled with mid afternoon activity. Johnny finally managed to get through the traffic without eliminating any of the pedestrians crossing the streets, then once outside of town, pulled over to the side of the road to check the map for himself. The trail to the lake they were headed for was only about four miles north; following the signs they were able to find the parking area at the trail head with no problem. Two young hikers were just getting in the only car there.
"Hey," Johnny called to them, "you take the hike up to the lake today?"
"Yeah," one of them answered. "It's really awesome. You guys headed that way?"
"We sure are. We're plannin' to stay at the campground and try our luck at fishing for a couple of days." Johnny thought about what Chet had said about not catching any fish. "I don't suppose you did any fishing?"
"No, we just went to check out the lake. There's a pretty neat trail that runs around it, and there's some great spots to take pictures too if you don't mind doing a little climbing up the cliffs. But I hear they just stocked the lake not too long ago. Should be full of trout, and from the looks of it, they're all yours. There's nobody else up there."
Roy joined in the conversation. "Guess that's because it still gets pretty cold at night. Only the brave… or the stupid… go camping this time of year." He laughed at the disgusted look Johnny gave him.
The hikers thought it was funny, even if Johnny didn't. "Well, it looked like they had the shed pretty well filled with firewood, so you should be able to stay warm if you build a really big fire and stay close to it. Hey, we gotta get going now… good luck with your fishing!"
"Thanks.... Good talkin' to you." Johnny waved as they got into the car and drove off.
They stood for a minute in silence, taking in the view. It was beautiful. The pale afternoon sunlight highlighted the surrounding mountain peaks still capped with snow. It was cool in the shade of the tall pines, and the air was clean and fresh and smelled wonderful. Johnny took a deep breath, and was rewarded with another coughing spell for his effort.
Roy thought the cough sounded different than it had earlier, but before he could say anything, Johnny was urging him to help unload their gear. Surprised at being able to handle more than originally planned, they agreed that once they got to the campground, one would stay and set up camp, while the other would return to the truck for the few things they couldn't carry this time.
About halfway up the trail to the lake, Johnny had to stop to rest. The altitude here was about 7000 feet, far higher than they were used to. The trail was moderately strenuous, and with his lungs still plagued by the smoke from last night, he found himself struggling to breathe in the thin air. Putting their gear down, he and Roy climbed up on separate boulders and admired the view once again while he caught his breath. Johnny closed his tired eyes for a moment to relax and appreciate the peace and tranquility of the mountains.
It was back.
A sudden chill shot through him. Johnny could feel its presence again. He looked around quickly and saw nothing unusual. He glanced nervously at Roy to see if he had noticed it… but he seemed unaware that anything had changed. His heart rate sped up as time slowed to a stop. Total silence shrouded the forest.
There was something out there.
"Johnny, are you okay?" Roy was standing right in front of him. He hadn't even heard Roy jump down off the boulder or seen him walk over.
A jay call loudly to its mate. Flies buzzed by his ear. A breeze rustled through the trees. "Yeah," Johnny mumbled slowly, "just… thinkin… how quiet it is up here." He slid off the rock and picked up his pack. "Let's just get going."
Roy watched him start up the trail and wondered what was going on. Johnny had that same look on his face a minute ago that he had last night when Chet and Marco had hauled him out of the apartment building.
Roy took a deep breath and followed.
* * * * * * * *
Roy was relieved to find that the campground wasn't an entirely primitive one. There were rest rooms with running water, and as the hiker had said, an ample supply of firewood. Each of the campsites had large, level spots for tents, wooden cabinets for storing things away from hungry animals foraging in the night, iron barbecues, picnic tables and large fire rings. Each one had an unobstructed view of the lake and the mountains beyond. A thick forest of pine trees now separated them from the rush of civilization.
Roy was glad he had let Johnny talk him into coming here. It was almost perfect. Catching some fish tomorrow would make it totally perfect. He sighed happily… he could practically smell the trout cooking over the open fire.
He turned around and saw Johnny staring out across the lake, looking as though he expected to see something out there. It was almost as though he was in some sort of hypnotic trance, and not for the first time since last night. Johnny jumped a little when Roy tapped him on the shoulder.
"You want to stay and set up the tent, or do you want to go back and get the rest of the stuff?" Roy asked. "It doesn't matter to me.... I'll go back, if you want. You look kind of beat."
Roy could see the indecision in Johnny's expression. For a moment, he thought Johnny looked like he didn't want to be left alone, but figured he was reading too much into it. Still, it struck him as odd.
Johnny felt hunger gnawing, and decided it was time to get busy. He pushed away his feelings of anxiety, knowing he was being irrational about the whole thing. He and Roy -- and the trout in the lake -- were the only ones for miles around.
"You sure you don't mind going back for the rest of the stuff, Roy? The hike was a little harder than I thought it would be. I could have the tent up and dinner started by the time you get back."
Jokingly, he told Roy to be careful and to hurry back so they could eat before it got dark. At least he tried to tell himself he was joking.
Johnny had the task of setting up the tent by himself down to a science. As he worked steadily in silence, the sun slowly dipped lower in the sky. Long shadows began to creep through the campsite as he drove the last stake into the ground. He gathered up their sleeping bags and backpacks and put them inside. As he stepped back out of the tent, Johnny felt the air once again grow cold and heavy and still.
There was something out there. Lurking in the forest. Watching him. He could feel it. Waiting for him. He couldn't see it. Just like last night. Someone was calling. Someone was calling his name.
"Johnny?"
Roy felt bad. He had obviously startled Johnny yet again. Roy thought he'd made enough noise to wake the dead. He'd called out to him several times.
"Don't do that," Johnny said angrily.
"Don't do what?" Roy was confused.
"Sneak up behind people. It's not… it's not funny."
"Johnny, I...." Roy didn't finish the sentence. Johnny had already walked away.
* * * * * * * *
Roy didn't believe in omens, but given all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, had to wonder what else might be in store for them. When Johnny apologized, Roy shrugged it off. They were both tired. They'd had a long night followed by a long drive. After eating dinner in relative silence, they sat and watched the sun paint the horizon with flaming streaks of orange and red as it sank slowly into the lake.
The temperature dropped considerably as the sunset faded away, and darkness quickly fell over the mountains. Thousands of stars emerged and gleamed against the ink-black backdrop of crystal clear skies. Bright moonbeams reflected off the lake and swirled in the gentle waves as they lapped against the rocks along the shore. The only sound came from the logs on the fire as they crackled and popped, sending little showers of sparks and wisps of smoke floating skyward, only to quickly disappear in the chilly grasp of the evening air.
This was what they had come for.
Both men relaxed as they sat near the fire and chatted quietly about their plans for the next two days. Roy finally stood up and tugged his jacket zipper all the way up to his neck, then stretched his legs. He grabbed a flashlight off the picnic table. "I think I'm going to take a short walk down by the lake before I call it a night. Want to come along?"
"No," Johnny answered sleepily, "I think I'm just going to get ready to turn in."
"All right. I'll be back in a little while. I'll wait just long enough for the heater to warm up the tent...."
Johnny laughed at that one. "This fire's the only heater we've got, so you might wanna make sure you get good and warm before you put it out for the night."
Roy started to walk away and heard Johnny call to him.
"Hey, Roy. Don't be gone long, okay? And don't get lost."
He smiled and looked over his shoulder. "Now who's being the dad?"
If he had been able to see Johnny's face in the dark, Roy would have seen that he was deadly serious.
* * * * * * * *
Roy awakened to the sound of coughing from outside the tent. It no longer sounded like the dry cough that he'd listened to for the last two nights. It was still deep, but more congested. Roy could smell the coffee, but it was the smell of bacon frying that finally convinced him to unzip his sleeping bag and brave the frosty morning air. He shivered and reached for his jacket, then stumbled out of the tent.
"Thought maybe you were gonna sleep all day," Johnny said with a grin when he saw him come out.
"I thought about it. At least until it warms up a little," Roy muttered as he moved over to the fire and held his hands out over it, enjoying the warmth. "How long have you been up?"
"Longer than you. Coffee's ready."
Roy poured himself a cup of coffee and listened to Johnny cough again.
"You sound a little worse today than you did yesterday. You don't look like you slept much. How are you feeling?"
"I'm feelin' fine, Roy. It's just the smoke from the campfire makin' me cough. Don't you... don't you ever stop worrying? Now, come on… let's eat and get going. I don't know about you, but I plan on making sure we have trout for dinner instead of hot dogs again."
Roy was glad to see that Johnny ate something for breakfast after scarcely eating anything again last night. Convincing himself that Johnny would feel better after a day in the warm sun and fresh mountain air like he kept saying, Roy finished his breakfast with a second cup of coffee, then got busy. The fish were waiting.
* * * * * * * *
They had never caught so many fish. They caught so many, they had to start throwing them back. Johnny said more than once that Chet was going to be sorry he hadn't come along. He couldn't wait to rub it in.
They were enjoying themselves immensely, but as the morning progressed, Roy noticed that Johnny was looking tired and growing quiet again. He also noticed that he was less jumpy today than he had been yesterday, although several times he saw Johnny stare in the direction of the trees on the edge of the campground with that strange look on his face. He hoped Johnny would be willing to talk later about what happened at the apartment fire. By the way he was acting, Roy was pretty sure it was still on his mind.
Wanting to give the fish a break that afternoon, Roy suggested they take a short hike and explore the area a little, and was surprised when Johnny declined to go along. Saying he wanted to relax and start reading a new book he'd picked up, Johnny also offered to clean some of the fish for dinner. Roy had no problem letting him tackle that chore.
The sun was getting ready to set by the time Roy returned to camp. He hadn't intended to be gone for so long, but had really enjoyed spending some quiet time alone. Between his job and his family, it was so rare he was able to do that.
Johnny was no where to be seen.
Roy had expected that Johnny would already have a fire going since it was cooling off more quickly than it had the night before -- but not only was there no fire, there was no firewood either, and no sign that any fish had been cleaned and readied for dinner. Thinking maybe Johnny had decided to go exploring on his own after all, Roy went to collect some firewood to get things started.
As he dropped his armload of logs next to the fire ring, he heard a harsh cough, and realized Johnny was inside the tent. He peeked in to see him laying on top of his sleeping bag and knew immediately something was very wrong.
He put his hand on Johnny's shoulder to wake him. Roy could feel the heat through his shirt. He could hear the rattle in his lungs as he labored to breathe. Roy wasn't sure who to be more angry with -- the Rampart doctor for letting Johnny leave so easily the other night, or Johnny for not admitting he wasn't feeling well… or himself for not listening to his better judgment about everything for the last two days.
And Johnny wondered why he worried so much.
Digging through his bag, Roy pulled out the first aid kit, and took out some aspirin. It was all they had for the moment. He went outside and got a cup of water and brought it back into the tent. Johnny was difficult to rouse, but he finally got him awake enough to sit up and swallow the aspirin and drink some water. An wicked, painful cough had him gasping for air, leaving no doubt in Roy's mind that pneumonia had already set in. He guessed his temperature to be at least 103.
He needed to get him to a doctor, but that wasn't going to be easy. Johnny was in no condition to walk on his own, and with darkness quickly closing in, it would be too difficult and too dangerous to try to carry him down the trail to the truck.
Roy knew his best option was to try to bring the fever down, then make Johnny as comfortable as possible while he went for help. They weren't that far from town, and he figured it would take ninety minutes at the most to get to the truck, drive to town, find help and come back.
What could possibly go wrong in ninety minutes?
* * * * * * * *
Roy had Johnny sit upright to ease his breathing, then leaned him back against the makeshift wall he put together using the backpacks and extra blankets. The aspirin was having little effect on the fever. Every time Roy exchanged one wet towel for another on his forehead, Johnny shivered more.
Roy was torn over what to do next. He knew Johnny should be in the hospital, but grew more concerned about leaving him alone in this condition for even a short while. His only other choice was to stay and try to bring the fever down during the night, then go for help at first light when he could make it down the trail to the truck far more quickly than he could in the dark. He thought he should go now and not take a chance on waiting.
The decision was made for him by the near-panicked reaction he got when he told Johnny he was going to leave. Roy wasn’t sure if he was lucid or not. One minute he seemed to be, the next.... the next he seemed disoriented and extremely agitated.
“Johnny, listen to me,” he pleaded, “I’ve gotta go for help. It’s too cold for you to be out here all night. Look.... I won’t be gone that long. Remember, we passed the fire station in town on the way here? I’ll go there, and we’ll be back in no time.”
“You can’t go out there alone Roy. It’s too… dark. You could get lost… or fall.... I’ll be all right until morning.” His voice was hoarse, breathing was an effort, and talking only made him weaker.
“No, you won’t be all right Johnny. We don’t have anything but aspirin and water, and neither one seems to be bringing your fever down. You need to be in a hospital… you need an IV and some antibiotics… and I’m afraid if we wait until morning....”
Johnny struggled to get up, but Roy held him down. "Listen to me. You're not going anywhere. You’ve gotta take it easy or you’re going to make yourself sicker. I need to get help."
"No. Don't go." Johnny gripped Roy's arm with both hands and held it tightly. He didn't have to say anything more. Johnny wasn’t just shivering, he was trembling. He was scaring Roy.
"Don't... go, Roy." The words were hoarsely whispered, but the message came through.
Roy wasn't sure it was the right decision, but he knew there was no way he could leave Johnny alone right now. He wasn’t sure what Johnny might do.
"All right, Johnny. I won't go anywhere. I'll stay and do what I can to get the fever down. You need to try to get some rest now." Roy pulled his arm free as Johnny relaxed and closed his eyes.
Roy had no idea how high his fever was. More aspirin, more water.
It was all he could do.
* * * * * * * *
Johnny finally fell into a restless sleep around one o'clock. He mumbled something unintelligible when Roy laid a fresh wet towel on his forehead, but didn't awaken. Roy shivered from the cold and wrapped his arms around himself and rubbed his arms in an effort to generate some body heat of his own. Believing that Johnny would sleep for a while, he climbed into his sleeping bag to rest and try to stay warm. He closed his eyes for just a minute.
A minute became ninety before he opened them again.
Johnny was gone.
Quickly slipping out of the sleeping bag, Roy hurried outside, and called for him, but got no answer. Roy stepped back in the tent and grabbed a flashlight. With increasing anxiety, he made a thorough search of the area and checked out the rest rooms. There was no sign of him anywhere.
Roy tried to remain calm and think of which way Johnny might have gone. In his condition, he couldn't possibly have gone far. Roy looked in the direction of the trees. He doubted Johnny would have gone that way. He seemed to think "it" was out there. Down by the lake? Or the other direction, toward the cliffs? The right decision could make all the difference.
He let his instinct make the call. Taking both flashlights, he headed away from the lake, toward the cliffs. He called out every few seconds. There was only silence in return. Just when Roy thought he had gone the wrong way and started to turn back, he heard the familiar cough. Sound carried a long way in the still night air, and he couldn't tell how close he might be.
Johnny didn't answer when he called, but as he continued along, listening carefully, he heard him cough again. It came from somewhere above him. Shining a flashlight slowly upwards, he saw him. Johnny had climbed up the rocky cliff and was standing on a narrow ledge about thirty feet off the ground.
Roy felt his heart beat a little faster when he saw how close to the thin edge Johnny was standing. He didn't even seem to be aware that Roy was there.
Keeping his voice calm as possible so he didn't startle Johnny, Roy called up to him.
"Johnny? What are you doing up there?"
A few small rocks tumbled down from the ledge.
"Just standing here."
"Okay. Maybe you shouldn't move around too much. What's going on?"
"It was there again when I woke up. Thought I could get away from it up here."
"Get away from what, Johnny? There's no one here but you and me. You were probably just dreaming. You're running a fever. You're sick. You need to come down and let me help you."
"You can't help me. You didn't help me. You left."
"You're not making sense. I was right there in the tent. You should have woke me up."
"I'm making perfect sense. I always do. You aren't listening."
"All right. Tell you what..... I'll listen. But I could do it better if you were down here with me."
"I'm just trying to figure it out, Roy."
"Figure out what?"
"If I can do this anymore."
"Do what, Johnny? Fall off the cliff and kill yourself?"
"You're still not listening. That's not what I'm talking about."
"Johnny, I don't understand. Come down and we'll talk about it."
"I can't come down."
"Then I'm gonna come up there and help you get down."
"Don't need your help now, Roy. I didn't say I couldn't come down. I said I can't."
Roy waited to see what he'd do, wondering what the difference was.
"Why can't you come down?"
Johnny sounded unnaturally calm.
"Roy, I never should have left that apartment."
"If you hadn't, you'd be dead now."
"There was someone in there."
"No there wasn't, Johnny. There was no one in there. No one. You know that."
"Doesn't matter if I know it now. I didn't know it then, Roy. I thought there was someone in there, and I bailed out anyway."
Roy was stunned. He had been so focused on persuading Johnny that there was no one in there that he hadn't thought about it that way. It explained a lot about what was going through his mind. He was afraid that Johnny might be dangerously close to the edge in more ways than one.
"Is that what this is all about? Johnny, we all get scared sometimes."
"I know that. You don't understand what I'm talking about. You weren't there. I'm talking about not even being able to move. Not being able to breath. It's not the same thing. There was something in that room. There's something out there right now. And I can't get away from it."
Johnny was quiet. Too quiet. Roy was getting nervous.
"Roy? Are you there?"
"I'm right here, Johnny."
"I don't think I feel too good."
Roy propped the flashlights against the rocks to light his way. "I'm coming up to help you get down. Just hang on for a minute."
It wasn't a difficult climb, and Roy reached the ledge in a few minutes. Johnny was still standing on the edge, staring down at the ground.
Roy reached out his hand.
Johnny looked at him, then looked down again. Even in the darkness, Roy had seen it again. In his eyes. The same look on his face as the other night. Unmistakable this time. It had a name.
Terror.
"It won't let me go, Roy," he whispered.
The sudden loud crack of the ledge splitting in half shattered the stillness of the night.
* * * * * * * *
Roy heard the sound of tires on the dirt service road, then heard a door close nearby, followed by footsteps.
"Hello!?" someone called out.
Roy rolled over slowly and tried to wake up. It was daylight. His eyes fluttered open and took a few seconds to focus.
Johnny's sleeping bag was empty. Roy felt his heart in his throat again.
He scrambled out of his sleeping bag, and stepped out of the tent. A Forest Service pickup truck was parked about twenty yards away. The driver was pulling down the tailgate and looked up when he heard Roy come out.
"Hey, sorry to disturb you. I saw some of your fishing gear and thought maybe you'd be at the lake already. My name's Pete Campbell.... just came up to leave some more firewood and make sure everything's in working order here."
"Pete… my name's Roy DeSoto." They shook hands. "When you drove up, did you by any chance see anyone else around?"
"No, can't say that I did. Did you lose someone?" He started to joke, but couldn't miss the fact that DeSoto looked genuinely upset.
"I hope not...." Roy knew how close he came to losing Johnny last night. "I'm here with a friend of mine. He was gone when I woke up. I'm real worried about him. He's pretty sick and needs to get to a hospital… I need to find him right away."
"I'll be glad to help you look for him," Campbell quickly offered, "any idea which way he might have gone?"
Roy didn't want to believe that Johnny would have gone back to the cliff. When they had finally climbed down last night, he had been sure Johnny wouldn't try anything like that again. Roy had barely caught him in time. It had scared the hell out of both of them.
They could see for a long way around the lake, but there was no sign of him there. That left the trees. He wouldn't have gone there. Johnny had insisted there was something out there. Something that scared him. Something he didn't want to face. Roy looked in the direction of the cliffs.
"Hey! Is that him?"
Roy wheeled around to see Johnny walking their way looking very unsteady on his feet. "Yeah, that's him. Can you give me a hand?" He'd save the lecture for later.
A small smile flickered across Johnny's face at the look Roy gave him, as he readily accepted their support. Campbell volunteered to take them to the hospital in his truck. With his help, Roy managed to get Johnny settled into the cab of the pickup. He was still running a fever, but Roy didn't think it was as high as it had been. Johnny was asleep almost as soon as he laid his head back against the seat.
"How is he?" Campbell asked.
"His fever doesn't seem to be as high as it was last night, but he's still pretty sick. He needs to be in the hospital."
"Do you think we need to go right away, or do we have time to get your stuff packed up? If you can help me unload the firewood real quick, we can throw your stuff in the back of my truck and you won't have to come back here later. I can take you and your friend to the hospital first, then take you back to your truck and help put your things in it." Campbell was willing to do whatever Roy needed.
Roy checked on Johnny one more time. He seemed to be okay for the moment. Johnny woke up and looked at Roy through bleary eyes.
"I'm okay now, Roy. I.... I'm okay. I just need to sleep for a while."
"I know. We're gonna get you to the hospital real soon. Johnny… where'd you go this morning?"
"For a walk. Had to see what was out there."
"You should have let me come with you."
"No.... I had to go alone. Some things you just need to do alone, Roy."
"Still.... We'll talk about it later. Did you find something out there?"
"Sorta."
"Gonna tell me what it was?"
"It was just me the whole time, Roy. It was only... me."
Roy was about to ask him what he meant, but Johnny had already fallen back to sleep.
* * * * * * * *
Chet came into the locker room through the dorm, and leaned against the end locker. Roy was changing into his blue shirt, getting ready for the start of the shift.
"Hey, Roy. Cap just told me about Johnny. Is he gonna be okay?"
"Yeah… they kept him in the hospital for 24 hours, then discharged him yesterday morning. The doctor gave him some antibiotics and told him to take it easy for a while. He slept most of the way home yesterday and stayed at my house last night. Joanne said she'd keep an eye on him today. I'm gonna call later to see how he's doing, but I think he should be back at work in a week or so."
"That's good," Chet said with relief, then smiled. "I guess that means you guys didn't catch any fish again, huh?"
Roy shook his head. "No… actually, we caught quite a few.... But… well, we left in such a hurry, we kinda left them behind."
Chet just nodded. "Uh-huh. Likely story. I can't wait till Gage gets back… I'm not gonna let him forget this one."
"Uh… Chet," Roy started hesitantly, "I need to ask you a favor… can you just not do that this time? I mean… not say anything… just let it go this once?"
Chet studied Roy's face for a moment. "That bad, huh?"
"Yeah...." Roy thought of Johnny standing on the ledge. "It could have been real bad."
Something told Chet there was more to the story than Johnny having pneumonia. "Sure.... I can do that. After all, it's not like he doesn't give me enough other things to bug him about."
Roy smiled to himself. Chester B was a good man. "I guess I'd better finish getting ready before roll call. What'd you do on your days off, Chet?"
"Not much. I worked an overtime shift at 16s the other day. We stayed up and watched the late movie on TV -- by the way, it kinda made me think about you and Johnny."
"Yeah? What movie was that?"
"It's called 'Terror at the Lake.' It's about these two guys who go on this camping trip in the woods, and one of them starts hearing things and gets all paranoid that there was something out there that was gonna get him. He only heard things when his friend wasn't around, but weird things kept happening to him. Then the guy kinda freaked out in the middle of the night because he thought something was coming after him, and when he tried to get away from it, he ended up drowning in the lake. It was pretty scary. It was a great flick… a real classic, you know?"
Chet noticed Roy looked a bit pale.
"Tell me, Chet. Was there something out there? Something real?" Roy asked quietly.
Chet was a little surprised. Roy had never shown interest in any of his favorite movies before. He wondered why this time, but the question had been asked so seriously, he thought it deserved a serious answer.
"Well.... No. Not something you could see or touch. But it was pretty real in the guy's mind. That's what the whole movie was about… one of those psychological thrillers… how things in your mind can drive you crazy if you let them."
Roy looked pensive and it suddenly dawned on Chet they weren't really talking about the movie. He thought back to their last shift and the apartment fire.
"You know, Roy.... Sometimes fear can be a very real thing. The more you deny it and the harder you try to get away from it, the more it comes after you. But, you can't run away from it. It's like trying to run away from yourself."
"What do you mean?" Roy asked.
Chet wondered when they had switched roles. Roy was supposed to be the station philosopher.
"We're not talking about anybody we know, right? We're just talking hypothetically here, aren't we?
Roy smiled at Chet's diplomacy. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Okay then, let's take somebody like.... Oh, say.... Gage, for instance."
Chet had seen the look on Johnny's face in the hallway that night. He'd seen it on others before.
"Here's a guy who puts his life on the line all the time, and never gives it a second thought. Doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. Then one day, he's doing what he always does, but this time -- for no apparent reason -- he does give it a second thought. That's all it takes -- one time -- and -- boom! -- he's afraid that he won't be able to do anything again without thinking twice before he does it. He's worried he's lost his nerve. I've seen it happen, Roy… to better men than you or me. Fear's a funny thing. It can turn you into your own worst enemy. You start to think every time you close your eyes or turn around, it's going to be there, waiting for you. You never know when it's going to strike again. Something like that could really make a guy lose it if he's not careful."
"Do you think he… a guy can ever get over it?"
"Well, I don't know if it's something you get over. I think some people can put it in perspective and learn to live with it and some can't. We all have our fears, Roy. They're a part of us, you know? Most of the time we just keep them bottled up inside and ignore them. Some people don't want to admit it, but even the best of us get scared sometimes.... I mean really deep down scared. The way I look at it -- you either give in to fear and let it rule your life, or you face up to it, admit to yourself that you're only human, and move on."
"You conquer it or it conquers you?" Roy understood now why Johnny had said it was something he had to face alone. He reached for his jacket. "So, what scares you, Chet?"
Chet thought about it for a minute. "If you'd asked me that a few days ago, I would have told you that it's the same thing we're all scared of Roy… you and me and John, and every other firefighter...."
He knew what Chet was referring to. Things better left unsaid.
Roy took a deep breath, then pinned on his badge and closed his locker. They started toward the door. It was time for roll call.
Roy stopped for a second. "Chet, you said if I'd asked you that a couple of days ago… did something happen to change your mind?"
Chet's devilish smile returned. "Yeah.... I tell you there's one thing more scary than any movie I've ever watched or any fire I've ever faced -- and that's Marsha. That chick is somethin' else, Roy. Talk about something out there.... She's like… from another planet. Let me tell you..... I knew something was wrong the second I...."
He interrupted his tale of the date from hell when he noticed Roy wasn't really listening anymore.
"Hey, Roy, Johnny is going to be all right, isn't he?"
Roy was remembering when he asked him if he saw something out there, and Johnny had answered "it was only me." Johnny had gone into the dark forest, and had come out the other side.
Roy smiled. "Yeah, Chet. He's gonna be just fine."
"Good. Did anyone ever tell you that you worry too much? Well... let me finish telling you about what happened when I got to Marsha's place....She's got this really big.... Roy? Roy? Wait. Don't you wanna hear what happened...?!"
* * * * * * * *
The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out and meet it.
~ Thucydides ~
