BY Stella

"I can’t believe it. We got the day off, it’s Christmas Eve, and now this," Roy DeSoto said sleepily from his hospital bed. "Johnny, I really appreciate it. If Joanne knew what happened, she’d be really upset."

"Hey, no problem, Roy. The kids are gonna love it, and that’s the important thing. Right?" John Gage cocked a grin at his partner and patted a knee buried under the covers. "You just rest, and tomorrow afternoon you can come home and hear all about it."

"You know, when I was looking for an excuse for Santa to tell the kids why I wasn’t there, I wasn’t expecting something real." Roy chuckled ruefully, but softly. It hurt too much to laugh. Every part of his body felt bruised.

"Well, who woulda thought there’d be a riot for that skateboard? And you were just tryin’ to be helpful."

Johnny mentally recalled the incident that brought Roy to the hospital. They braved the crowds at Toys R Us to get a skateboard Chris wanted for Christmas. The display was quickly being whittled away by eager customers, except for a few of the skateboards piled up on another shelf. Roy knew how much Chris wanted that skateboards, so he climbed a ladder to bring one box down. In seconds, someone snatched it right from his hands. Then, another and another.  Johnny managed to elbow his way in to snag one from Roy.

That’s when things got ugly. The press of people caused the ladder to teeter, and suddenly Roy was falling. The bodies scattered like the parting of the Red Sea, and Roy hit the tile floor hard. He wasn’t seriously injured, but Dr. Brackett wanted to keep him until the next day just to be sure.

This put a major crimp in Roy's plan. Dressed up as Santa, Roy wanted to sneak into the house in the wee hours of the morning to deliver their presents. Knowing how the kids were, they would hear him and rush like gangbusters into the living room to catch him in the act. Unfortunately, Roy was now unable to pull off the stunt, so Johnny amicably volunteered to do it for him. But now, Roy was having second thoughts.

"Johnny...."

"Yeah?" He was almost out the door, and he turned back to his partner’s bedside.  "Somethin’ wrong?"

"I should go home. I mean... I could go home and explain it to Joanne...."

"No, Roy. The doc wants you to stay for observation to make sure that bump on the head is nothing serious. Just relax. I’ve got everything under control."

"That’s what I’m afraid of," Roy muttered sourly.

Johnny’s hand splayed across his chest. "Roy, I’m hurt. You don’t trust me to pull this off? I can be a good Santa! Honest!"

Roy smiled, realizing he was being unfair to Johnny. If he hadn’t tumbled off that ladder, he wouldn’t be in this predicament. Roy knew he had no one but himself to blame. "Yeah, I trust ya. I just... I wanna be there to see their faces."

"I know. Hey, maybe they’ll let you out early." Johnny grinned. "Just think that way, okay, partner? We’ll see ya tomorrow." He patted Roy’s shoulder and quickly headed for the door.

"You’re in a big hurry," Roy noted wryly.

"Well, I’ve got some presents to wrap, and this Santa doesn’t have any elves to help," Johnny answered with a grin. "Not unless I can find someone, like that cute blonde down the hall from me...."

Roy dismissed him with a hand in the air.  "Good luck, Johnny."

"Thanks."  Johnny had his hand on the knob, and turned back to his partner. "Uh, Roy?"

"Yeah." Roy’s eyes were closed, and he was drifting off to sleep.

"What about Joanne? Should I let her know?"

"No. Don’t worry her... over... nothing...." Roy was asleep.

Johnny watched his partner for a few moments, wondering if he should follow Roy’s request and not call Joanne. It was true that if he told her what happened, she would only worry needlessly. Ah, what the heck, I’ll just tell her tomorrow morning when I show up.

Johnny set his alarm for 4:00 a.m., just to be sure that he would be there in time. Little did he realize, however, just how much work it was to get dressed in the Santa suit by himself. If it had been Roy doing this, Johnny would have helped him. But because of circumstances, he was the lone ranger in this project. By the time he slipped the scratchy white beard over his face, Johnny was sweating up a storm. It was for the kids, and that thought made him forget his discomfort.

He checked the bag one more time to be sure that everything was inside and patted the wrapped box containing the skateboard. Chris is going to be so happy with this! Carefully slinging the large sack over his shoulder, he chuckled to himself. Between the costume and the load, he really did feel like Santa!

Now, hopefully I won’t run into anybody I know on the way there, especially Chet! Oh yeah, Chester B would have a lot of fun with this one. Johnny shoved the thought from his mind.  It was so early in the morning, he doubted he would see anyone on the streets, unless Santa himself was still out delivering toys! Indeed, the roads were practically deserted, and the one time he stopped at a light, the driver in the car beside his never even gave him a second look.

Johnny unlocked the front door and slipped into the house as silently as he could. He’d been to Roy’s so many times, he knew practically every floorboard from foyer to living room. He avoided the one that had a tendency to creak in cooler temperatures and tiptoed to the tree. Working by the light of a dim lamp Joanne left on, Johnny knelt beside the tree and turned on the tree lights.  There were a few things underneath it already, and he noted that the tags indicated they were for Roy, Joanne... and himself. He smiled at Joanne’s thoughtfulness. He was tempted to gently shake the square box with the bright red wrapping and the big velvety red bow, but he shook his head instead and resisted. He had a job to do, and not much time to do it.

As he pulled the packages from his sack, the wrapping paper and bows crackled. Johnny winced and froze. He thought he heard the thump of something on the floor, but he knew it wasn’t coming from him. The swish of a door rubbing across carpeting perked up his ears. The kids! They were up! He had to really get in gear now!

Johnny worked with lightning speed to place all the gifts under the tree. With the last one positioned under a macaroni star Jennifer made in school, he rose from his knees and straightened out the kinks. Wearing this get-up, he was beginning to feel old like Santa. How the guy, if he were real, could accomplish everything legend said he did, was beyond Johnny’s reasoning.

Suddenly, Johnny heard someone approaching, slippers rhythmically scuffing the carpeting behind him. Whomever it was, was walking casually, not running in eager anticipation.  Carefully, Johnny twisted around.... On the way to the DeSotos’, he learned that if he turned his head too quickly, the beard wouldn’t follow the rest of him, and he’d ruin the act.

"Hi there, Santa," Joanne grinned and approached Johnny. "You sure are a cutie."

"Uh..., thanks," Johnny replied, masking his voice with a deeper, more Santa-like tone.

Joanne giggled. "When you want to play a part, you really know how to play, don’t you, Tiger?"

Before Johnny could react, Joanne circled him with her arms and one hand came to rest at the back of his Santa wig. The other rested between his shoulder blades. Panic rose in him as Joanne pressed herself against his padded stomach and moved even closer. Johnny tried to give her a warning that he wasn’t who she thought, but it was too late.

As the distance closed, Joanne said huskily, "I don’t usually go for men your age, Santa, but...." Then, her lips were pressed to his. Johnny fought the kiss and backed away. "Ooo, Santa’s playing hard to get, huh?"

"Jo...," Johnny managed to croak.

"I missed you last night," she whispered and pressed forward. It was the giggling that stopped her cold.

"Look at Mom! She’s kissing Santa, just like the song," Chris blurted.

Johnny and Joanne whirled and saw the two children standing side-by-side in their pajamas, hair still rumpled from sleep, giggling with surprise and amazement at the sight of Mommy and Santa. Johnny abruptly stepped back.  Just then, the front door opened, and in walked Roy.

"Roy," Johnny choked.

"Roy!" Joanne’s voice squeaked. She didn’t know where to look, at her husband who stood in the entrance, or the person dressed as Santa, who should have been her husband.

"Hey, honey, I’m home," Roy announced and smiled sheepishly.

The kids looked around at everybody, totally clueless.

"Roy... why... who...?" Joanne’s gaze finally settled on Santa. Her eyebrows knitted together, a storm gathering in her expression. With hands on hips, she demanded, "Okay, so who are you?"

"He’s Santa, Mommy!" Jennifer exclaimed with such glee, she bounced on the balls of her feet.

Johnny saw the enthusiasm in his favorite girl’s exclamation; he didn’t have the heart to come clean and take off the costume in front of her. If he did, Johnny knew he’d destroy all those wonderful little childhood fantasies that she was too young to let go of yet.

"Well? Are you going to answer me?"

Johnny cleared his throat nervously. He had to think of something fast! He glanced at Roy, hoping there would be an answer from his friend. Roy was just as tongue-tied. He could be honest and ruin his children’s fun, but he was reluctant to do so.

"Well," he began in his ‘Santa’ voice, "You see, it’s like this.... Roy..., well, he was going to do me a favor and help me deliver these presents... but he had a little accident yesterday...."

"Accident?" Joanne glared at Roy. "What kind of accident? Why didn’t you tell me?"

"Oh, it wasn’t anything serious. Just a little mishap." Roy reddened.

"Yes," Johnny continued, "And, I was told that he would have to stay at the hospital until this afternoon...." He gave Roy a meaningful glance.

"I left early. See? It was nothing serious. Really, Jo. It was nothing." Roy approached his wife as he spoke, and enveloped her in his arms. "I’m okay." He hugged her, and she melted into his embrace.

"Roy, you know how much we worry about you," she mumbled into his jacket. "You should have called. And here I thought you were just spending the night at Johnny’s."

"Why would Daddy spend the night at Uncle Johnny’s?" Chris looked at his parents, puzzled.

"Oh, your Uncle Johnny had a... a big, uh, card game last night," Johnny answered, twisting the truth more than just a bit. It was true that the adults had a game going, to give the kids an extra special Christmas morning. Knowing that Chris was old enough to be aware of adult card games and that his dad occasionally participated, Johnny used that knowledge and hoped his meager explanation would be good enough.

Johnny could see Chris working it through in his head. The kid was just old enough to be suspicious of whether or not Santa was real. If they did this right, maybe he’d hold onto his beliefs for another year. Kids grow up too fast, he thought.

"Well...," Johnny yawned and carefully stretched.  He didn’t want his Santa stuffing to pop loose. "Santa better get a move on back to the North Pole. Gotta get a jump on next year, right kids?"

Jennifer and Chris nodded. "We love you, Santa," Jennifer exclaimed and ran forward, bumping into Johnny’s artificial stomach with her head as she reached out to hug him. 

Johnny bent over and hugged her in return. "Love you too, Jenny."

Chris stood and watched, noticing when the beard slipped a little. He was skeptical about this being a real Santa, and the wayward whiskers proved it. But who was underneath that suit? That mystery intrigued him more than the reality of Santa. When ‘Santa’s’ eyes rose and met Chris’, the boy got his answer. He smiled and winked as if to say, I know, Uncle Johnny. Johnny seemed to read his mind, because a slight crimson dotted his cheeks as he straightened, and a hand smoothed the beard, partly to make sure it hadn’t migrated too far from where it should be.

"Well, sweetie, Santa has to get going," Joanne prodded Jennifer aside gently. "He has other kids to think about too."

"Aw, Santa, can’t you stay a minute and watch us open presents?"

Johnny patted Jennifer’s head sympathetically.  "Sorry, sweetheart, I can’t. But Uncle Johnny’s coming this morning, and I know how much he enjoys watching you open your gifts. He’ll be here real soon. I promise." He winked at her and added. "Johnny and I go way back, so I know he’ll be here for me, and he’ll tell me all about it later."

"Thank you, Santa! This is the best Christmas ever!" Jennifer gave him one last big hug around the waist and reluctantly released him.

"I’ll escort Santa to the door," Joanne declared, desperately trying to hide her amusement. She didn’t stop until they were on the front step. Inside, she heard Roy herding the kids into the kitchen, despite their loud grumblings.

"Ah, Dad...," Chris whined.  "One present, please?  Can't we open just one present?"

"No.  We're waiting until Uncle Johnny gets here, and that's final."

Their voices faded away, and once the kids were out of earshot, Johnny spoke.  "Jo..., I am so sorry."

Joanne held up a hand. "No, Johnny, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so... forceful...."

"You thought I was Roy."

"Yes, I did." She stifled a wave of laughter. "You know, this whole thing is really quite funny. I didn’t stop to think that maybe you two might have had something cooked up...never thought that Roy wouldn’t be the one under that costume."  She paused. "So, what happened to my hero?" A crooked smile brightened her face.

Johnny was thankful that Joanne wasn’t mad. He quickly explained to her what happened at the toy store. "I was just as surprised as you were when he came walking in the door. I thought they were keeping him at Rampart until at least noon!"

"Well, I’m glad they didn’t." Joanne blushed. "I mean, what would have happened if the kids caught us kissing, and you... you might have had to confess that you weren’t Santa?"

Johnny shrugged. "I don’t even wanna think about that!"

"Do me a favor, will you?" She looked up at him with expectant eyes.

"Anything, Joanne."

Joanne smiled. "Don’t tell Roy that you and I... you know... kissed."

Johnny chuckled. "Only if I have a death wish. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed."

Joanne chuckled with him and patted his arm.  "Thanks. So, how are you going to pull this off, getting out of here and coming up to the house as Uncle Johnny?" She noticed that his Land Rover was parked down the street, barely out of sight of the house.

"Don’t worry. I’ll do a quick change in the Rover and be back in a few minutes."

"Good. I’ll have some coffee ready and pancakes and bacon, okay?"

"Great. I’ll be here for that!"

Joanne watched Johnny trot down the street, his Santa suit jiggling with each footfall, making him look completely ridiculous. She couldn’t help but laugh.  He was almost to the Rover when his pillow stuffing squeezed out from his costume and softly plopped onto the pavement. Johnny halted, scooped it up, and retreated inside the back of the Rover.  Joanne was hard pressed to stifle her laughter as she leaned against the porch railing for support. She took a few minutes to compose herself, and by the time she was back to normal, Johnny was parking the Rover in the driveway.

"Yay! Uncle Johnny’s here! Yippee!  Now we can open presents!" Suddenly the kids were on the porch with Joanne, their voices raised in excitement.

The kids didn’t wait for Johnny to climb the steps; they were on him with hugs and chattering a mile a minute.  Johnny laughed and let their enthusiasm and eager hands pull him toward the front door.  

"Okay, where are the presents?"  Johnny cried over the din, causing the kids to shout at once.

"Under the tree!  Come on, Uncle Johnny, hurry! You oughtta see all the stuff Santa brought!  And we saw him, too!"

Johnny spoke with false skepticism, "Oh, you did, huh?"  It was impossible to keep the grin off his face.

"Yeah, and he kissed Mommy, too!"

Johnny's face reddened, and he was glad his back was to Roy and the kids were too busy dragging him into the house to notice.

Roy halted on the threshold and stared at Joanne.  "You wanna tell me what that was about?"  He wore a puzzled expression.  He whispered, "Johnny.... He... he kissed you?"

Joanne grimaced and squeezed Roy's arm.  "It was nothing, Roy.  I'll tell you all about it... later.  Right now, we have a house full of kids who are going to riot if we don't let them open their presents right this minute."

Roy peered into the living room and spied his friend sitting cross-legged on the floor with the kids.  The three had already pawed through the piles below the tree, and Roy knew Joanne was right.

Johnny caught Roy and Joanne watching and beckoned them inside.  "Come on, we wanna get started!"

"You're right."  Roy shook his head, grinning.  "The kids are waiting."

The End