This was originally posted at Juniors Journals for the ‘Make Johnny Cough’ contest and has been slightly rewritten for posting here
"NOT A GOOD DAY TO DIE"
Damn you, Gage.
Stop being so quiet. I’m not freezin’ my butt off out here in the pouring rain in the middle of the night, diggin’ through all this mud, just to find your skinny-assed corpse. The last thing you said to me tonight was that you were going to outlive me just to drive me nuts. Well, I tell you, you’re driving me nuts right now. Where the hell are you? Cough again. Roy was sure he heard you before. Why can't we hear you now?
How are we supposed to find you if you don’t tell us where you are?
You know, John, Cheryl’s gonna be real pissed at both of us if you don’t show up next Friday. She’s gonna think you did this just to get out of meeting her cousin. I don’t care if she’s pissed at you, but man, I really dig this chick. Don’t screw it up for me with her. Cough, damn it. Do somethin’. You miss that date, and I’ll never speak to you again.
You remember that time we drove up past Bakersfield and went fishin’ in the Kern River? Just you and me? You told me the only way to catch any fish was to stand in the middle of the river where it was the deepest, and then you kept laughing at me because I slipped and fell in the water a half-dozen times. I spent the entire weekend in wet clothes, and almost caught pneumonia. I wasn't laughin' then, and I'm not laughin' now. I wanna get out of these wet clothes and into a hot shower, but I can’t, until we find you. I’m hungry and cold and tired. So, just make some noise, cough, whatever. Help us find you, so we can all get out of here and try to get a few hours sack time before the tones go off again.
* * * * * * * *
They say it’s supposed to stop raining by noon tomorrow. They’re worried this whole hill, and every house on it, is gonna slide right down across the highway and into the ocean before that happens. I hope these people really thought the view was worth it. This house must have cost at least a half million bucks. Look at it now. It’s nothin’ but a pile of junk.
Why didn’t you get out of there when you had the chance? Cap told you it was gonna go, but no, you thought you had time to try to find that man. We found him an hour ago.
He was dead, John. Roy said he was probably dead before you ever went in.
Marco’s diggin’ next to me here. He keeps saying things in Spanish. I wish he’d stop. I don’t know what he’s sayin’, but it sounds a lot like a prayer to me. People are only supposed to say prayers like that in church and at funerals. We ain’t in church, and this sure as hell better not be a graveyard. Don’t make me go to another fuckin’ funeral, Gage. You know how much I hate them. I remember that night we got blitzed after Danny Franklin’s funeral. We talked about what ours were gonna be like. I’ve never been able to figure out if you were serious, or if you were just so drunk you didn’t know what you were saying. Jesus, you drank a lot before you finally passed out. Either way, I don’t think they allow that kinda thing any more. Maybe it worked for your ancestors, but you’re gonna have to find another way for your spirit to cross over-
-what was that? I’m not the only one who heard it. Was that you? It sounded like a cough.
Gage?
Roy thought it came from over there.
Shit.
If that’s where you are, it’ll take another hour to clear all that crap out of the way. I can tell by the look on Roy’s face, he doesn’t think you have another hour. You know, that man is gonna be lost if you don’t pull through this. I swear to God, John, he’s holdin’ it together right now, but we all know what’s going on inside his head. He’s gonna blame himself for not going in there with you, and he’s gonna blame himself for not having his red cape handy tonight. I hate to be the one to tell him, but he’s not Superman. None of us are. You mean a lot to him, Gage.
I’ll never admit it out loud, but you mean a lot to all of us.
Cough, damn it. Help us.
* * * * * * * *
Cap’s standin’ over by the engine. Mike’s talkin’ to him. Talk about someone blaming himself. Cap hasn’t said a word, but it’s written all over his face. He let you talk him into letting you go in there, when you both knew the chances that you’d come back out were slim. Why’d you do that? For all your bragging all the time, you’ve never struck me as the kind of guy who has to play the hero. You just couldn’t not try, could you?
I wonder what makes people like you tick. You never seem to be afraid of anything, but I know you are. That night after Danny’s funeral. You told me you were scared to die. I don’t care how drunk you were, you meant it. I won’t tell anyone, though.
I’m scared right now, John. Christ, I’m scared.
Where are you?
* * * * * * * *
I hate mud. Clear some away, and more just slides in to take its place. We’re getting frustrated. We know you’re there, and we’re not gonna give up till we find you, but you gotta help us. You gotta help us now. We’re runnin’ out of time.
Johnny?
I can hear you. Keep coughing. Your lungs sound like they’re full of slime, but it’s the best damn sound we’ve heard all night. We’re all here now. We’ll have you out in no time. Hold on.
You're quiet again. No, goddammit. We're so close.
There. There you are.
Roy? What's wrong?
Come on, John, breathe. Breathe, you asshole. BREATHE.
Roy?
You should see the look on Roy’s face. I can tell you’re gonna be okay. Jeez, you should see yourself. You look like the creature from the black lagoon. Covered with mud, and leaves stuck all over you. Wish I had a camera. Then we could look back and laugh about this some day, when we’re old and gray.
We will, won’t we? Live to be old and gray?
* * * * * * * *
Dyin’ in the mud in the rain on the side of a hill isn’t the way to go. There’s gotta be something better. I wasn’t worried, though. I knew we’d find you in time. After all, we’re the best crew in the County. I can’t wait for that hot shower, and somethin’ to eat. Cap says we can let B-shift worry about cleaning the rig. You know, for a Captain, he’s all right sometimes.
Roy says you’ll be in the hospital for a few days. I’ll bring you a jelly donut in the morning. Unless I decide to eat them all. What can I say? I live to irritate you. I don’t know what I’d do without you for a pigeon.
I’m glad I didn’t have to find out today.
Johnny, this... this wouldn’t have been a good day to die.
I don’t know if there is such a thing.
Oh. About that funeral, Gage. Just what the hell were you thinkin’?
* * * * * * * *
